I hope this post helps bring together a wealth of information into one place that I can refer people to. Some things I'm going to leave to the reader to research on their own.
First TMI: I was circumcised as an infant.
My parents simply chose to do what was done historically in their family and what seemed to be the norm at the time. I do not hold any grudges about it.
Second TMI: I chose to leave my boys intact.
Why didn't I want them to look like me? Honestly, it didn't even occur to me. I was willing to go with whatever my wife thought was best. I guess I'm simply not so vain. And, if they were to ever ask why we look different, I would simply explain.
Am I not worried about their prospects with finding a significant other? No, absolutely not. The majority of the developed world does not practice infant circumcision. I've read stories of women that prefer intact over circumcised. The stories I've seen of the other is only of women that are simply afraid of it because they've only known circumcised men.
Am I not concerned about diseases or infections? No. The more I've looked at the statistics, the more I realized that boys with intact penises have less of a chance of a disease or infection than a woman has of getting breast cancer, but I wouldn't cut out breast buds of baby girls. "No part of the body comes with a lifetime guarantee against disease. Breasts become cancerous, fingers become arthritic, earlobes develop malignant melanomas. If disease prevention is insufficient justification for amputating fingers, breasts or earlobes, then it is insufficient justification for amputating foreskins." Dr. Arif Bhimji. In fact, during the healing time after the surgery, the risk of infection is very high. Think about it: they can't put a band-aid over it; they just put the diaper on where excrement goes!
Aren't circumcised boys easier to clean? No. They are still easier than girls (and, yes, I've changed girl diapers). In fact, the foreskin performs a function that helps keep the penis clean.
Doesn't it say in the Bible to circumcise? In the Old Testament, yes; however, the New Testament has several places where that rule is cancelled due to Christ's sacrifice (see references below). If you're Muslim, check out this: http://www.quranicpath.com/misconceptions/circumcision.html. If you're Jewish, check out the documentary put together by a Jewish man called "Cut: Slicing Through the Myths of Circumcision (2007)"
Am I not concerned that he'll be laughed at? In the USA, the rate of circumcision has dropped significantly. The chances of being laughed at for being intact are most likely less than being laughed at for being circumcised. Besides, remember the days when geeks and nerds were laughed at only to become the wealthy and successful adults due to their knowledge?
Third TMI:
I have/had 3 side-effects due to being circumcised:
- Meatal stenosis - had this somewhere between 8 and 11 years old.
- Amputated skin means the skin from the scrotum has to make up for it. This means that the hairy part from the scrotum slides further up the shaft.
- Amputated skin means the skin from the scrotum becomes tighter. This means that the scrotum squashes the testes into the body. This can make sex very uncomfortable.
Besides the downsides of circumcision, there are many benefits to foreskin: http://www.circumstitions.com/Functions.html
What about what the doctors say? The AMA does not find any medical reason for circumcision. Here's a good link too: https://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/
I haven't heard many stories of men that chose to get their foreskins removed after puberty, but here's one good one:
https://www.yourwholebaby.org/without-his-foreskin
Also, in the American Circumcision documentary, there is a young man that was interviewed who allegedly ended up committing suicide. In the documentary he was extremely unhappy with the decision.
There's a link between erectile dysfunction and circumcision (probably why the USA is the biggest consumer of Viagra): http://www.thewholenetwork.org/twn-news/does-circumcision-cause-erectile-dysfunction
If you're still convinced that a boy should have his foreskin amputated as an infant, please look at one more thing: http://www.savingsons.org/2014/10/i-researched-circumcision-did-you-really.html
Technically, I believe it is actually illegal, but it hasn't been explicitly and clearly been given the green light to enforce. Here is a very thorough write up on the legality of the practice: https://scholarship.richmond.edu/jolpi/vol16/iss3/3/
I could go on. There's a ton more. But, honestly, if all this does not convince you, I doubt that anything will. Just keep in mind that someday your child will be grown and may very well ask you why and you may want to be prepared with a very good answer. I'm not sure that my parents answer will fly with anyone when the parent lived in the days of the information superhighway.
Documentaries:
Cut: Slicing Through the Myths of Circumcision (2007)
Elephant in the Hospital
American Circumcision
Informational websites:
https://www.yourwholebaby.org
Biblical references:
"For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know this full well." -Psalm 139:13-14
"But in fact, God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wants them to be." -1 Cor 12:18
"Behold, I, Paul, tell you that if you be circumcised, Christ will be of no advantage to you." -Gal 5:2
"And I testify again to every male who receives circumcision, that hue is in debt to keep the whole Law. You who do so have been severed from Christ...you have fallen from grace." -Gal 5:3
"For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, it makes no difference to God whether we are circumcised or not circumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love." -Gal 5:6
"But if I still proclaim circumcision...then the stumbling block of the cross has been abolished." -Gal 5:11
"I wish that those who are pushing you to do so would mutilate themselves!" -Gal 5:12
"And even those who advocate circumcision don’t really keep the whole law. They only want you to be circumcised so they can brag about it and claim you as their disciples." -Gal 6:13
"For neither circumcision nor uncircumcision matters. Rather, what matters is being a new creation." -Gal 6:15
"For there are many who rebel against right teaching; they engage in useless talk and deceive people. This is especially true of those who insist on circumcision for salvation. They must be silenced. By their wrong teaching, they have already turned whole families away from the truth. Such teachers only want your money" – Titus 1:10-11
"Watch out for those wicked men – dangerous dogs, I call them – who say you must be circumcised. Beware of the evil doers. Beware of the mutilation. For it isn’t the cutting of our bodies that makes us children of God; it is worshiping him with our spirits." – Phil 3:2-3
"But each of you should remain in the place in life that the Lord has given you. Stay as you were when God chose you. Was a man already circumcised [Old Covenant] when God chose him? Then he should not become uncircumcised. Was he uncircumcised [New Covenant] when God chose him? Then he should not be circumcised. Being circumcised means nothing. Being uncircumcised means nothing. Doing what God commands is what counts." -1 Cor. 7:17-19
"Certain people came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching, saying, 'Moses commanded you to be circumcised. If you aren't, you can't be saved.' But Paul and Barnabas didn't agree with this, argued strongly with them, and were appointed to go up to Jerusalem with other believers chosen to go with them. The apostles and elders met together to consider this question. [...] Peter got up and spoke to them, 'Brothers, you know that some time ago God chose me to take the good news to unbelievers. He wanted them to hear the good news and believe. God knows the human heart. [...] Now then, why are you trying to test God? You test him when you put a heavy load on the believers' shoulders [regarding circumcision]. Our people of long ago couldn't carry that load. We can't either." -Acts 15:1-2, 6-10
"Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly." -1 Tim 4:7
"Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I AM the LORD." -Leviticus: Ch. 19: 28
Quran:
http://www.quranicpath.com/misconceptions/circumcision.html
Jews:
https://www.cutthefilm.com/
A good blog for mother's-to-be to read before approaching the cut father:
http://brightonwoman.blogspot.com/2009/11/vulnerability-of-men.html
A good response to the parent that "wants what's best for their child:"
All parents want what they feel will be best for their child and that varies by culture, religion, ethnicity, etc which is more than okay!
I replied:
No, it's not okay.
It's not okay that I have to live the rest of my life with a permanent and unnecessary body modification that I did not ask for and do not want.
It's not okay that anyone else - parent or not - has more of a right to decide how much of my genitals I get to keep than I do.
It's not okay that I had so much skin removed from the circumcision that was performed on me without my consent that by the time I hit puberty and began "growing into" the skin I had left, there wasn't even enough skin left to accommodate the size of an erection.
It's not okay that anytime I would get an erection, it would completely max out the remaining skin (which was so tight it wouldn't even allow me to get fully erect) and caused my scrotum to be pulled halfway up the shaft of my penis.
It's not okay that this eventually resulted in me getting a twisted testicle - which was obviously very painful - and I had to have emergency surgery to repair it. I'm (relatively) lucky I didn't lose the testicle.
It's not okay that I've had to do years worth of stretching the remaining skin just to have enough slack skin to have comfortable erections.
It's not okay that I still have the scarring from the testicle surgery and from the circumcision itself.
It's not okay that my penis doesn't look and function like a natural, normal penis because someone else decided they wanted me to have an altered version.
It's not okay that my frenulum and ridged band are completely missing, which are supposed to be very sensitive sexually, but I'll never know because they were taken from me before I had the chance to experience them.
It's not okay that doctors continue to perform body modification surgery that is not medically indicated on patients who have not consented.
It's not okay that, in the U.S., only people of one sex are legally protected from having unnecessary genital cutting performed on them.
It's not okay that it didn't matter that my body belongs to me.
It's not okay.
