Friday, December 7, 2018

To the Burnt-out Intactivist

Take heart intactivist.  The war will be won!  There's no losing this war, just quitting it!  There's no bad press, it's all good.  I say this with confidence because the first thing my wife showed me when we started discussing the topic for our first son was the reasons that support removing the prepuce from the penis (aka circumcision).  THAT is what got me to say "what?!"  Let these people that promote the procedure attempt to promote it; it's just going to make people question it even more.  In the day my parents made the decision to have my prepuce removed, there was no argument, no protests, no contention in the media and no information super-highway.  If people question it, more often than not, they're going to see the truth.

I know it seems like a daunting task.  Think about the numbers, though.  There are over 300 million people in the USA.  We know that many of those are ignorant to the anatomy of the intact penis and have been accustomed to the "circumcised penis."  Let's just say 2/3 of that are people that need to be reached (not children or others that wouldn't have an impact).  Now, lets say half of that is currently for removing the prepuce.  That is still 100 million people!  The main Facebook group for Your Whole Baby only has around 30k in it.  But, the movement is growing faster and faster!

There are plenty of people that laugh at us.  But, that just means we're irritating them.  We're getting them thinking.  Even if they disagree with us, there's really very little cost to them to just say "give them what they want."  I know, I know, there are the doctors that are afraid of admitting wrong-doing and risking legal repercussions.  There are the men that think it means that giving into the movement means admitting that there's something wrong with them.  There are parents that think it means they made the wrong choice.  But, think about other movements in history.  The slave owners had a ton invested in their slaves; not that I think this will ever have to go as far as blood-shed (even though it's blood-shed that we're fighting against).  But, doctors can find plenty of other work.  Men don't have to go public with their choice to leave their son(s) intact.  Parents, well, that's a tough one; they may just have to apologize for their choice.  However, if they continue to push the procedure, they will just make themselves look heartless.

I have been watching and participating in this fight for over 13 years now.  I've seen intactivists get negative.  I've seen intactivists become dismayed by some of the other intactivists that become very aggressive, rude and disrespectful.  While I know some people run the other way when encountering these kinds of intactivists, and that can be disheartening because we may feel that we've lost that person. I'd much rather keep people engaged rather than see them run away.  But, either way, we actually have not lost them.  The more people like this see anger about the issue, the more they're just going to want to leave children intact!  The anger over children having their genitals mutilated needs to over-shadow any anger that exists for not getting the children "circumcised."

If you need a break, definitely take a break.  I just hope that these words help the break be just that: a break.

Seriously, there is NO losing, just quitting!

Thank you for speaking out for the next generation!

Thursday, November 22, 2018

Reasons some people respond so offensively to intactivists

As an intactivist, it helps to understand these things to approach people with empathy:


  • If it was done to them, they don't want to think of themselves as damaged.
  • If it was chosen by their parents, they may want to defend their parent's decision. Plenty of people rightfully want to protect their parents.
  • Some desire to protect the routine as a part of their religion. Challenging any part of one's religion can be very scary. People don't want to be an outcast among their religious group.
  • Some don't want to believe they made the wrong choice for their own child.
  • Some want to believe that their doctor and/or medical system has told them the truth.
  • Some are medical professionals that can't even consider the possibility that they have been performing a procedure (or supporting a procedure) that hurts people.


This may be redundant, but this helps explain:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

As an intactivist, I keep this stuff in mind and not take it personally.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Filed criminal complaint for 'circumcision'

I filed a criminal complaint regarding the removal of part of my penis!  I went to the website for the Sheriff's office in the county that I was born, downloaded a "Voluntary Statement Form," completed it, scanned it and e-mailed it.  YES, I DID!  And, they sent back a case number!

Yes, I'm betting there are going to be many people that will laugh.  That's fine, every person in history that challenged a popular belief was laughed at.

This is what I said:
"Sometime between {birthdate} and {8 days later}, a part of my penis was removed without a medical indication at the {hospital} where I was born.  I consider this to be a sexual assault and battery with a deadly weapon."

Am I hoping to win a financial settlement?  This was not a civil case that was filed, thus, no.  Besides, I'm pretty sure we are well past the statute of limitations.

Am I hoping someone will get arrested?  Gosh, no.  However, if the doctor is still alive, I would request that the doctor make a public statement against the procedure.

So, what am I hoping for?  I am hoping that it will get attention.  I am hoping the news media may decide to make a story out of it.  I am hoping that the hospital administrator(s) and maybe even some doctors hear about it.  They may laugh and joke, but, the next time they chose to cut off a part of a baby's genitalia, I bet they will be thinking about me.

Note my selection of words.  I didn't even use the word "circumcision" because that would give it credence as a medical procedure.  I didn't identify that it was a doctor that did it, either, because that wouldn't make it any more OK.

If you're curious, there is this well known case of a man that did win a settlement:
This link no longer works:  https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=127183&page=1
This is an interview of William Stowell, the person that was covered by the story:  https://youtu.be/H8szj1jFCWM

And, here's a story of a lawyer that has been fighting a "war on circumcision:"
http://www.duluthnewstribune.com/news/4361831-moorhead-lawyer-fights-two-decade-war-circumcision

Another lawyer that takes "circumcision" cases:  David J Llewellyn

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Aren't hospitals and doctors risking fraud charges?

If you've read my previous posts, you already know that I'm an intactivist.  There are many reasons that I am, that I have not gone into detail, as there is a mountain of information out there and I just attempt to point my readers to where the information is rather than re-hash the details here.  But, I seem to continue coming up with thoughts that I have not really seen covered elsewhere.

I am tempted to send this to all doctors and hospitals where infant circumcisions are performed.

This is how I understand the prepuce (foreskin):  During childhood, it's attached to the glans (an indisputable fact) similar to how a fingernail is attached or how a kitten's eyes remain closed until the finish developing.  During the "circumcision" procedure, it is torn away.  In many cases that I've heard, if the parent chooses to keep the boy intact, the parent/caretaker is directed to forcefully retract the foreskin to clean underneath it and to do that repeatedly until it stops adhering.

Now, I'm not a doctor, but: I know that, when a toenail is ripped away, it doesn't grow back the same.  Of course, I didn't rip away my toenail repeatedly.  I wonder if the inner-mucosal part of the foreskin and the glans are permanently damaged by this process.  And, if that's the case, the foreskin probably seems like just "extra skin."  I also imagine that if I removed my toenail repeatedly, I would be increasing the chances for infection.  I also imagine that there would be plenty of scar tissue build-up, leading to a lack of sensitivity.  I have lots of scar tissue where my appendix was removed (3-4 inches in length) and it's like there is no nerves in the scar tissue.

This leads me to believe what I have heard:  In the USA, many boys, that are left intact, end up having to have foreskin amputation later because of problems like skin bridges (scar tissue buildup) and recurrent infections.

Now, either the doctors are culpable because of malpractice or they are committing fraud in order to make the money on performing the circumcision.  Another possibility is that they simply are taught wrong.  I have seen an anatomy book in a doctor's office and it does NOT go into detail about the prepuce; which is why I can see why they just think it's extra skin.  Of course, if you speak with an intact doctor, I doubt they would say that.


Monday, October 15, 2018

Circumcision Researcher's Shopping Cart

There is a mountain of information about circumcision out there.  I thought I'd put together a quick shopping list for those looking to educate themselves.

Videos:

I enjoy videos and find most people have the patience for them.  I'm sorting these by what I find most valuable and relevant.  There are also many videos on YouTube that don't cost anything, and well worth watching; I just recommend watching these first:


Books:

I am not a big book reader, but you may be.  I tried to group the books based on specific interest/subtopic.

Female:



General:



Religion:



There are more books here:  https://www.yourwholebaby.org/books

Saturday, October 6, 2018

Why more circumcised men aren't complaining

Why do so many men seem OK with the fact that a highly functional and valuable part of their body was removed during infancy?

First of all, how many of the circumcised men even have the slightest idea what foreskin is?

If they're like I was for the first 35 years of my life, they probably think it's just "extra skin" that's problematic.  They don't teach anything about it in sex education.  Even anatomy books that doctors have do not go into detail.  An old AAP statement did more than the doctor's anatomy book that I looked at, but they removed the information even though it is no less true today than it was then.

Guys don't talk about their junk, either.  Women talk about their genitalia more than men do.  I'm not attempting to be homophobic here, but, homophobia is a reason; and, even the guys that aren't, think talking about their junk is just weird.

Don't guys miss it?

Why would they?  Imagine being born without something that so many other people have.  This something would have to be hidden from most people's view most of the time.  Even those born without limbs or with some deformity are going to notice that everyone else has a "normal" body.  Heck, in the USA, it's the other way around considering the number of men without foreskin.  This can make circumcised seem "normal."  It's the reason so many people say that someone with their foreskin are "uncircumcised."

And, if they do know what foreskin is?

Even after I started learning about what foreskin is, its functions and benefits, the harm that does as well as the harms that may come from not having it, I didn't completely realize it all for several years.  Just because you read, watch or listen to something doesn't mean that it's all going to click right away.  And, even as the realizations came, I had to go through the stages of grief (look them up if you don't know what they are) as they happened.  And, since I didn't realize all the impacts all at once, I had to go through the stages repeatedly.  And, there's no time clock on grief; it takes as long as it takes.

Even if a guy does know, you think he's going to be brave enough to face the public about it?  Not likely.  Men aren't supposed to complain; it appears weak.  And, hey, you can urinate standing up and have sex, right?

After I personally got through all the realizations, the grief and thought through all the fear, I finally realized that I have to be an intactivist.  It's not about me, it's about the next generation.  It's about those baby boys getting their foreskin ripped off every day!  No, they aren't starving to death and that's an important issue too.  But, this is an issue that I understand well.  It's an issue that I'm well informed about and can speak from personal experience.  Something I really think I can have an impact on.  Thus, it is my DUTY to do so.

Here's another good essay on the topic:  https://drive.google.com/open?id=1j3SptZXnDo7au6WhNtpI30dk-p51nUcZ


Sunday, September 30, 2018

My journey as an intactivist


September 30, 2018

First of all, in case you don't know what the word "intactivist" means, it's an activist that fights for keeping children's bodies intact.

You may want to read my blog post from January of this year before reading this one.  Titled "Infant Circumcision" at http://johnadkison.blogspot.com/2018/01/  

It was at the time that I wrote the article in January that I decided to head full speed into intactivism.  Up until the time that I wrote that article, I struggled with the idea of speaking out about non-consensual circumcision.  I think the same things that kept me from confronting people is the same that keeps many men from doing so, and why I often see more women speaking out then men.   Men are raised to be tough, not to cry, etc.  Also, like Brendon Marotta put it, it touches on taboo subjects.  I then had the thought that I may very likely meet a child that gets circumcised today in 18 years from now, hear how angry he is that he's circumcised and not be able to tell him that I did everything I knew to educate people and protect him.

I joined groups of intactivists on Facebook.  There are many, but three of them I want to cover:  Your Whole Baby, Intactivists Stop Circumcision - ISC, and Bloodstained Men and Their Friends.  Each of these have a place, depending on what an intactivist feels prepared to do.

Your Whole Baby is a "gentle education" group.  This group does not allow you to reach out to other members via private message to convince them that child circumcision is wrong.  They don't allow bashing or shaming.  They only allow asking questions and providing information in a non-judgmental way.  And, this group does not go outside of the group to educate; it waits for people to join and ask questions.
Intactivists Stop Circumcision is more aggressive than Your Whole Baby.  The members of this group are supposed to be people interested in finding all avenues for educating and stopping the practice of child circumcisions.  This includes commenting on posts that are made public on Facebook about circumcision.  Many people don't know how to handle privacy settings on their posts, so, this happens daily.

Bloodstained Men and Their Friends is a group of people that go outside and protest with signs.  Quite often, wearing white pants with what appears to be blood stains on their crotch.  As I understand it, Jonathon Conte (may he rest in peace) was the one with the idea of the blood stained pants.  A few weeks ago I joined several of these guys in Vancouver BC.  It felt very good to be standing out there with them for the two days I got to be there.  Brother K even gave me a pair of his blood stained pants!!!  There are many very interesting and wonderful members of this group that I would love to talk about here, but, I've been thinking of starting an "Intactivists Wall of Fame" that may be a better place for that.

I even joined groups that are related, but not necessarily supporting intactivism.  Those groups include Circumcision Club and Circumcision Choice. 

Circumcision Club seems to be heavily comprised of men that tout the benefits of being circumcised, particularly when it comes to sex.  Someone new came along into the group and identified that I was an intactivist and attempted to have me booted.  With a simple defense, that person deleted his post.

Circumcision Choice ended up booting me once they determined that I'm an intactivist and I was challenging their way of thinking.  It didn't completely stop me from confronting the people from that group, though.  They have a web page that accepts comments, so I continued challenging their way of thinking there.  Surprisingly, they didn't just delete the comments and actually responded!  I consider it a win.

Other social networks, such as YouTube and GoFundMe have been excellent places to speak out as well. 

It's surprising how many people ask for money to pay for their child's circumcision on GoFundMe.  This is coming about as fewer and fewer insurance companies are covering the procedure and are now considering it strictly cosmetic.  It amazes me that this fact alone isn't enough to give people pause about the procedure.

There are several YouTubers that are intactivists.  James Loewen, who I originally got to meet at the American Circumcision screening in Seattle, runs a channel called Bonobo3D.  While he does some of his own speaking, the channel mostly consists of his video interviews of others that speak about the topic.  Two others of notable mention are Jordan Arel and "Momma Michelle," who I group together specifically because they both have a parent that performs circumcisions.  They both have their own unique discussions about intactivism.


Of course, there's other social networks like SnapChat and Twitter that can be useful.  I just have not done much with these.

There is a ton to learn about intactivism.  There's no way I'm going to be able to cover it all here; you'll have to go to all the places I've identified in my previous posts, the places I've suggested in this post and more.

I think the biggest challenge for intactivists is the statement the AAP made in 2012 and have not updated:  "...health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks and that the procedure’s benefits justify access to this procedure for families who choose it."  They go on to say that it "prevents" certain things such as UTIs, certain STDs and penile cancer.  I really think they need to replace the word "prevents" with "reduces chances of..." as it gives people the wrong idea.  Circumcised males can still get all those things.  Plus, the policy includes "they will need to weigh medical information in the context of their own religious..." - the AAP is supposed to be a medical organization; religion or culture is NOT supposed to play into their recommendation.  Here's a sign I'm thinking I'd like to see at the AAP conference: "AAP: Stop promoting the violation of the 1st amendment!" This is what they're doing with their statement, right? They are saying that the procedure should not be outlawed in support of religious/cultural reasons, which is actually violating the child's religious freedom.  I certainly think my own religious freedom was stomped on when they cut that part off of me!  Back then there weren't nearly as many studies showing medical benefits as there are now; unless they were strictly going by Dr. Kellogg's "let's stop masturbation" hypothesis.

Eric Clopper created a show this year by the name of "Sex and Circumcision: An American Love Story" that does an excellent job of addressing the AAP statement.  I do need to point out an important thing, though:  I don't think he did a good enough job of avoiding anti-Semitism.   Eliyahu Ungar-Sargon, the maker of "Cut: Slicing through the myths of circumcision" does an excellent job of calling this out in his video here.

People come up with all sorts of reasons to defend infant circumcision.  I came up with a simple set of responses:

  • If you support circumcision in the name of medicine, you have to support cutting off many other body parts for the same medical reasons.
  • If you support circumcision in the name of religious freedom for the parents, you have to support freedom of religion for anyone else with power (i.e. Sharia law).
  • If you support circumcision in the name of aesthetics, you have to support other body modifications to children.

Another response I often use is "The only person that should be promoting circumcision is a doctor trained in these things that both enjoyed sex before their foreskin was removed and after - I bet you can't find one!"

Many often wonder why, if it's a big deal, not many men complain.  Why are so many men OK with the fact that they are circumcised?  Here's my response:

Try to imagine a society where every person had their pinky toe removed at infancy. Also imagine that everyone always wore socks and/or shoes all the time. Imagine that doctors told everyone that it is more hygienic because it's one less area to keep clean and reduces the chances of that area becoming infected.

If no one had that pinky toe during their life, and it was almost always out of sight, how many people would talk about it? Guys don't talk to other guys about their junk - it's weird and some say "gay." Circumcised guys don't ask intact men what it's like to have foreskin. When you grow up not having it, you aren't likely to miss it; unless, just unless, you learn about foreskin like I did when I became a father at 35 of a son. It's been over 13 years now. I still don't know what it's like to have foreskin, and that's part of what makes me furious: I'd really like to know! I do have a good imagination, though and have read about the anatomy and functions and now notice every single day that I'm missing something that could be making things better for me. I now know that I dealt with an issue as a child and am still dealing with issues as an adult and one of the issues will continue to get worse as I age.

There is a mountain of resources out there to support the intactivists.  Websites, YouTube videos, FaceBook groups and pages, as well as blog posts like this one.  Doctorsopposingcircumcision.org probably would be considered the most reputable since it involves actual medical doctors.  Unfortunately, everyone wants one place to go, that they feel they can trust.  Most want to trust their doctor, but, in the USA many doctors are only interested in making money.  And, many (if not most) USA doctors don't even understand the anatomy and function of the foreskin.  I verified this in person when I opened a doctor's anatomy book that was sitting in their office and found the complete lack of information.  It's no wonder so many just think that it's a "flap of skin."

I would be happy to point out the mountain of resources, but, I understand very few people are willing to take the massive number of hours to look at as much as I have, so I usually send people to the following videos:  American Circumcision, Cut: Slicing through the myths of circumcision, Elephant in the Hospital on YouTube and Dr. Guest's videos on YouTube.  I haven't met anyone that has watched those and come back to tell me that their mind was changed, but I'd be surprised if these videos weren't sufficient to do so.

Friday, August 31, 2018

Release of American Circumcision documentary

Today (August 31, 2018) marks a major milestone.  Today, a documentary that took several years to compile, fund and promote, has been released at major providers.  "This is the first documentary of its scale to comprehensively explore this cutting edge issue, which involves sex, politics, and religion, all in the most personal way possible."

It has been a pleasure and an honor to participate in the funding and promotion of this excellent show.  I am proud to have been included by Brendon Marotta.  I consider myself lucky to have been one of the very first people to get to see this at a screening in Seattle.

This documentary tackles one of the most hotly debated topics of our time.  I realize that it's a topic that touches nerves (both literally and figuratively) of every person I know.  I know that it leads many to be defensive, regardless of which side of the debate you are on.  I realize that this leads many to avoid the topic completely.  This has delayed my involvement on the topic as I fear upsetting people and putting wedges between friends, family, colleagues and myself.  However, I only wish I would have been more active on the topic sooner and I wish our financial system would have supported an earlier release of this documentary.  Alas, we may simply have not been ready for it until today.

Please trust me when I say that this documentary is as non-biased and fair as I believe anything covering this topic can be.  Please trust me when I say that this is a must-see.  I won't lie, it will stir feelings.  But, how many shows have you watched knowing well beforehand that it was going to stir feelings?  Just because this is about a very real topic that is likely to strike very close to home, please do not avoid it.  You may think you already know all that you need to know of the topic; I beg of you, please keep an open mind as I keep learning more and more as I have over the past 13 years.

There is so much I could say about this documentary, but I don't want to ruin it for you.  Please enjoy:

https://circumcisionmovie.com/

Oh, if you can't afford the show, please reach out.  I'll figure out a way.

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

Intactivist things to do







Thursday, August 23, 2018

USA law about male infant circumcision

8/23/2018

I have been looking for specific law that specifically stated that male infant circumcision was legal.  I finally found it!  And, of course, I am not very happy about it.

I found the text here:
https://americanhumanist.org/news/frank-r-wolf-international-religious-freedom-act-signed-law/


"(3) in subparagraph (B), in the matter preceding clause

(i)—

(A) by inserting ‘‘persecution of lawyers, politicians,

or other human rights advocates seeking to defend the

rights of members of religious groups or highlight religious

freedom violations, prohibitions on ritual animal slaughter

or male infant circumcision,’’ after ‘‘entire religions,’’"

THIS is NOT religious freedom! Religious freedom applies to the individual, not some authority (including a parent)! WOW!!!! I am FURIOUS!!!

This was signed by Obama as H.R. 1150 on Dec. 19, 2016!  LOL - here's proof that Obama is not a Muslim, because he would have required the "male" part to be removed!

It further violates the USA Constitution's 14th amendment as boys and girls are supposed to get equal protection!

And, how can this be considered religious freedom when it specifically supports the Jewish based desire to circumcise males, but not the Muslim based desire to circumcise females?!  And, before everyone says I'm being anti-Semitic or whatever, I do realize that not all Jews or Muslims practice these customs.

Infant circumcision is persecution of the infant.  It's persecuting the infant to make a choice about their religion before they're old enough to understand religious teachings well enough to make *any* decision about it.  This section of this law is concerned with persecution of adults!  I am persecuted every single day by a religion because I know that I am missing a body part that was taken from me before I had a chance to say NO!  Where is my religious freedom?!

I don't want to persecute lawyers, politicians, other "human rights advocates" or other members of religious groups; I just want the persecution of children to stop!

Thursday, March 22, 2018

My Political Views

I am bothered by the hateful and extreme views of others.  I wish more people would take the time to listen to other views and find the common and win-win possibilities between what seems like polar-opposite views.

I also hate labels, like conservative, liberal, democrat, republican, capitalist and socialist.  I like to think of myself as a conservative liberal, democratic republican that is a socio-capitalist.

Let's tackle one of these at a time...

Conservatives don't want big government and don't want to be responsible for the actions of others.  Liberals want plenty of rules to keep people from hurting others and want to make sure there is a safety net for those who fall on hard times.  To me, these can be both complimentary and, in cases, balanced between the two.  Depending on your position in society, the extra rules of government can be seen as hurting you; and, it's often hard to see how those rules are protecting others in society.  As for the responsibility piece, I used to think I would never need a safety net (i.e. Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, unemployment insurance) as I was a hard worker who did on-going education and was financially frugal.  However, after the 2008 financial meltdown, I was in a very bad position as I had been working for the financial industry.  I was laid off and couldn't find a job for 9 months!  Since it affected so many others, doing self-employment wasn't very successful either.  Would a conservative have me lose my home, my transportation, etc.?  By the time this occurred, I had two kids.  I thought I was so responsible by waiting until a point in my life where I was in a good financial place before having kids, but 2008 happened!  I didn't just sit around, though.  I got out and volunteered everywhere I was allowed.  I delivered food for the local food bank and helped at Habitat for Humanity.

Democrats want everyone to have a vote.  Republicans aren't as big about majority rule.  Looking at history, I don't know of any country that was successful without considering the needs and desires of its people.  Thus, I think there's a balance. Majority rule can be scary when the majority is ill-advised and lack education.  The majority can also be swayed by propaganda, whether that propaganda is from their own government or individuals that have the power to get people's attention.  Thus, my opinion is that only people that can prove they have appropriate knowledge should be able to vote.  It should not be an age thing.  I also think that voting can be more efficient with technology than it was in the past; thus, there is less need for representatives to vote on all the issues for us.

Capitalists think that everything would be OK if we just let the free-market decide everything.  We can all vote with our dollars, right?  That works until a single entity ends up with a monopoly on a market.  Socialists want everyone to be taken care of.  Where's the carrot to go to work?  Forget about money for a minute.  I know it's hard, but just imagine we didn't have a medium of exchange.  What would need to occur for people to be taken care of and prosper?  Until we have robots that do everything for us, a certain percentage of people would need to perform duties a certain percentage of their time.  Thus, there needs to be an incentive to work; however, not everyone is employable either.  Do we make the workers take care of their unemployable family, neighbors, etc.?  What about people that don't have anyone like that?  I like socialism in certain areas where it affects everyone (i.e. roads) and regulated capitalism in others.  There are some areas where it's particularly difficult, such as healthcare; but that's at least a separate paragraph.

Saturday, January 20, 2018

Infant Circumcision

This is the hardest thing for me to write.  I struggle to determine where to start.  This is a topic that makes many uncomfortable because it is about sexual organs.  If you think you know all you need to know about this topic, think again.  I've been studying the topic since before my first boy was born (over 12 years) and I'm still finding things I wish I would have known even before I had kids.  Also, there is probably going to be TMI, but I desire for people to understand why I'm so passionate about this topic.  My conscience simply will not allow me to be silent about this topic any longer.

I hope this post helps bring together a wealth of information into one place that I can refer people to.  Some things I'm going to leave to the reader to research on their own.

First TMI:  I was circumcised as an infant.

My parents simply chose to do what was done historically in their family and what seemed to be the norm at the time.  I do not hold any grudges about it.

Second TMI:  I chose to leave my boys intact.

Why didn't I want them to look like me?  Honestly, it didn't even occur to me.  I was willing to go with whatever my wife thought was best.  I guess I'm simply not so vain.  And, if they were to ever ask why we look different, I would simply explain.

Am I not worried about their prospects with finding a significant other?  No, absolutely not.  The majority of the developed world does not practice infant circumcision.  I've read stories of women that prefer intact over circumcised.  The stories I've seen of the other is only of women that are simply afraid of it because they've only known circumcised men.

Am I not concerned about diseases or infections?  No.  The more I've looked at the statistics, the more I realized that boys with intact penises have less of a chance of a disease or infection than a woman has of getting breast cancer, but I wouldn't cut out breast buds of baby girls.  "No part of the body comes with a lifetime guarantee against disease.  Breasts become cancerous, fingers become arthritic, earlobes develop malignant melanomas.  If disease prevention is insufficient justification for amputating fingers, breasts or earlobes, then it is insufficient justification for amputating foreskins."  Dr. Arif Bhimji.  In fact, during the healing time after the surgery, the risk of infection is very high.  Think about it:  they can't put a band-aid over it; they just put the diaper on where excrement goes!

Aren't circumcised boys easier to clean?  No.  They are still easier than girls (and, yes, I've changed girl diapers).  In fact, the foreskin performs a function that helps keep the penis clean.

Doesn't it say in the Bible to circumcise?  In the Old Testament, yes; however, the New Testament has several places where that rule is cancelled due to Christ's sacrifice (see references below).  If you're Muslim, check out this:  http://www.quranicpath.com/misconceptions/circumcision.html.  If you're Jewish, check out the documentary put together by a Jewish man called "Cut: Slicing Through the Myths of Circumcision (2007)"

Am I not concerned that he'll be laughed at?  In the USA, the rate of circumcision has dropped significantly.  The chances of being laughed at for being intact are most likely less than being laughed at for being circumcised.  Besides, remember the days when geeks and nerds were laughed at only to become the wealthy and successful adults due to their knowledge?

Third TMI:
I have/had 3 side-effects due to being circumcised:
  • Meatal stenosis - had this somewhere between 8 and 11 years old.
  • Amputated skin means the skin from the scrotum has to make up for it.  This means that the hairy part from the scrotum slides further up the shaft.
  • Amputated skin means the skin from the scrotum becomes tighter.  This means that the scrotum squashes the testes into the body.  This can make sex very uncomfortable.

Besides the downsides of circumcision, there are many benefits to foreskin:  http://www.circumstitions.com/Functions.html

What about what the doctors say?  The AMA does not find any medical reason for circumcision.  Here's a good link too:  https://www.doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/

I haven't heard many stories of men that chose to get their foreskins removed after puberty, but here's one good one:
https://www.yourwholebaby.org/without-his-foreskin

Also, in the American Circumcision documentary, there is a young man that was interviewed who allegedly ended up committing suicide.  In the documentary he was extremely unhappy with the decision.

There's a link between erectile dysfunction and circumcision (probably why the USA is the biggest consumer of Viagra):  http://www.thewholenetwork.org/twn-news/does-circumcision-cause-erectile-dysfunction

If you're still convinced that a boy should have his foreskin amputated as an infant, please look at one more thing:  http://www.savingsons.org/2014/10/i-researched-circumcision-did-you-really.html

Technically, I believe it is actually illegal, but it hasn't been explicitly and clearly been given the green light to enforce.  Here is a very thorough write up on the legality of the practice:  https://scholarship.richmond.edu/jolpi/vol16/iss3/3/

I could go on.  There's a ton more.  But, honestly, if all this does not convince you, I doubt that anything will.  Just keep in mind that someday your child will be grown and may very well ask you why and you may want to be prepared with a very good answer.  I'm not sure that my parents answer will fly with anyone when the parent lived in the days of the information superhighway.

Documentaries:
Cut: Slicing Through the Myths of Circumcision (2007)
Elephant in the Hospital
American Circumcision

Informational websites:
https://www.yourwholebaby.org


Biblical references:
"For you created my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know this full well." -Psalm 139:13-14

"But in fact, God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wants them to be." -1 Cor 12:18

"Behold, I, Paul, tell you that if you be circumcised, Christ will be of no advantage to you." -Gal 5:2

"And I testify again to every male who receives circumcision, that hue is in debt to keep the whole Law. You who do so have been severed from Christ...you have fallen from grace." -Gal 5:3

"For when we place our faith in Christ Jesus, it makes no difference to God whether we are circumcised or not circumcised. What is important is faith expressing itself in love." -Gal 5:6

"But if I still proclaim circumcision...then the stumbling block of the cross has been abolished." -Gal 5:11

"I wish that those who are pushing you to do so would mutilate themselves!" -Gal 5:12

"And even those who advocate circumcision don’t really keep the whole law. They only want you to be circumcised so they can brag about it and claim you as their disciples." -Gal 6:13

"For neither circumcision nor uncircumcision matters. Rather, what matters is being a new creation." -Gal 6:15

"For there are many who rebel against right teaching; they engage in useless talk and deceive people. This is especially true of those who insist on circumcision for salvation. They must be silenced. By their wrong teaching, they have already turned whole families away from the truth. Such teachers only want your money" – Titus 1:10-11

"Watch out for those wicked men – dangerous dogs, I call them – who say you must be circumcised. Beware of the evil doers. Beware of the mutilation. For it isn’t the cutting of our bodies that makes us children of God; it is worshiping him with our spirits." – Phil 3:2-3

"But each of you should remain in the place in life that the Lord has given you. Stay as you were when God chose you. Was a man already circumcised [Old Covenant] when God chose him? Then he should not become uncircumcised. Was he uncircumcised [New Covenant] when God chose him? Then he should not be circumcised. Being circumcised means nothing. Being uncircumcised means nothing. Doing what God commands is what counts." -1 Cor. 7:17-19

"Certain people came down from Judea to Antioch and were teaching, saying, 'Moses commanded you to be circumcised. If you aren't, you can't be saved.' But Paul and Barnabas didn't agree with this, argued strongly with them, and were appointed to go up to Jerusalem with other believers chosen to go with them. The apostles and elders met together to consider this question. [...] Peter got up and spoke to them, 'Brothers, you know that some time ago God chose me to take the good news to unbelievers. He wanted them to hear the good news and believe. God knows the human heart. [...] Now then, why are you trying to test God? You test him when you put a heavy load on the believers' shoulders [regarding circumcision]. Our people of long ago couldn't carry that load. We can't either." -Acts 15:1-2, 6-10

"Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly." -1 Tim 4:7

 "Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I AM the LORD."  -Leviticus: Ch. 19: 28

Quran:
http://www.quranicpath.com/misconceptions/circumcision.html

Jews:
https://www.cutthefilm.com/

A good blog for mother's-to-be to read before approaching the cut father:
http://brightonwoman.blogspot.com/2009/11/vulnerability-of-men.html

A good response to the parent that "wants what's best for their child:"
All parents want what they feel will be best for their child and that varies by culture, religion, ethnicity, etc which is more than okay!

I replied:

No, it's not okay.

It's not okay that I have to live the rest of my life with a permanent and unnecessary body modification that I did not ask for and do not want.

It's not okay that anyone else - parent or not - has more of a right to decide how much of my genitals I get to keep than I do.

It's not okay that I had so much skin removed from the circumcision that was performed on me without my consent that by the time I hit puberty and began "growing into" the skin I had left, there wasn't even enough skin left to accommodate the size of an erection.

It's not okay that anytime I would get an erection, it would completely max out the remaining skin (which was so tight it wouldn't even allow me to get fully erect) and caused my scrotum to be pulled halfway up the shaft of my penis.

It's not okay that this eventually resulted in me getting a twisted testicle - which was obviously very painful - and I had to have emergency surgery to repair it. I'm (relatively) lucky I didn't lose the testicle.

It's not okay that I've had to do years worth of stretching the remaining skin just to have enough slack skin to have comfortable erections.

It's not okay that I still have the scarring from the testicle surgery and from the circumcision itself.

It's not okay that my penis doesn't look and function like a natural, normal penis because someone else decided they wanted me to have an altered version.

It's not okay that my frenulum and ridged band are completely missing, which are supposed to be very sensitive sexually, but I'll never know because they were taken from me before I had the chance to experience them.

It's not okay that doctors continue to perform body modification surgery that is not medically indicated on patients who have not consented.

It's not okay that, in the U.S., only people of one sex are legally protected from having unnecessary genital cutting performed on them.

It's not okay that it didn't matter that my body belongs to me.

It's not okay.