What makes me particularly good at genital autonomy advocacy

There have been several events in my life that have led me to become an avid advocate for genital autonomy.  I feel the need to document these, so here they are:

My prepuce was amputated shortly after birth. (I was "circumcised.")

I was born in a time when there was no public internet and no books existed that discussed what "circumcision" was other than religious texts.  In fact, it wasn't until the following year that the American Academy of Pediatrics made its first statement regarding the fact that there was no medical indication for the procedure.  It's very interesting that there were so many baby boys getting cut during that time when there was no medical indication for the practice.  This shows how it became popular for other reasons including but not limited to the capitalistic healthcare system in the USA and I dare say that there is a connection to the war.

Thus, I have a hard time finding fault with my parents for allowing it to occur.  My own father was cut as an infant as well and clearly never critically analyzed the practice.  I imagine being in the military, where individuals are given very little agency, it probably never even occurred to him that there was any other way.

Nightmares that seem to be connected to the event re-occurred throughout my childhood and young adult life.

I wasn't one to cry or scream as an infant, toddler, or child.  I DO remember having the same nightmare frequently.  There were only two other nightmares that re-occurred during my childhood.  This particular nightmare repeated well into my late 20s.  The nightmare involved me being unable to move and something was approaching me that was going to harm or kill me.  Of course, I would always wake up just before it happened, and I would wake up in a cold sweat.  That something was vague: I never had a clear vision of what it was.  This makes sense considering how limited the vision of a neonate is.

This challenges the idea that humans do not develop memories at such young ages.  I know other men that have reported similar nightmares as well.

Vivid memory of my brother getting the Vaseline treatment.

Certain memories from my early childhood really stuck with me.  My mother putting Vaseline on my brother's penis is one of them.  I guess I always wondered why you would have to do that.  Of course, NOW I understand.

Tight erections

Looking back at my childhood after figuring out how the loss of my prepuce affects the normal operation of a penis, I have come to realize that the physical feelings I experienced during erections (which happen without an attraction, in case you didn't know) were not normal.  Yes, intact males can have tight erections too, but for very different reasons.  These physical feelings drove me to do something about them whereas I believe that something would have been completely different if I was left intact.

I have often been able to step outside of myself and look at my life and choices as though I was looking from someone else's perspective.  One day I woke up thinking about that boy and the tight erections he experienced throughout his youth and I felt very sad for that boy.

I've said this before, but those tight erections have caused physical issues throughout my life.  One was the tightness of my scrotum which drew up my testes so much that one would often get pressed to the point of being very uncomfortable.  Another is that the tightness on the other side would cause a bend, which is not something that an erect penis does very well.

Meatal stenosis

Another clear memory was having urine not spray in a stream but spread in a way that I would sometimes make a mess.  My grandmother wasn't having it and took me to the doctor.  The doctor found that tissue grew across my meatus (where the urine exits the glans).  While I don't remember it being painful, it was another one of those odd things that didn't make sense to me at that time.

Since I have been studying intact and cut penii, I have noticed that intact men do have a larger opening in most cases.  Stenosis just means narrowing.  It seems that many, if not most, males that had their prepuce removed at an early age have a degree of stenosis.  I often wonder whether the sharp feeling I get when I urinate would be that sharp if I was intact.

Christian upbringing

I went to several different churches during my youth.  Sometimes Baptist, sometimes Assembly of God, and sometimes another.  As my current wife (Jennifer) was brought up Lutheran, I have attended some of those.  I have also attended a "Religious Science" church. Jennifer has also attended a Lutheran college.  Jennifer and I have had many conversations about the Judaic family tree (Islam and Christianity as limbs of that tree).

As there are many things about this religion that don't make sense to me, the whole sacrifice idea completely fails for me.  As a parent, I would never want my children to make a sacrifice to me that involved harming themselves.  Today I have come to see religion as a man-made thing that has simply developed over time.

Religions can be abusive in many ways, but there is no abuse worse than making permanent body modifications to a child.  Even if they might not remember the event, they can look at the modification later in life and have extreme emotions about it.

Met a Mohel

I have actually met a couple mohels, but there's one in particular that sticks out in my memory.  Now, before I go any further, I suspect you may be one to think "oh, he's just anti-Semitic."  To me, an anti-Semite is a person that advocates for the oppression of Semites simply because they are Semites, not a person that challenges a religious doctrine.

In case you don't know what a mohel is, it's the individual in the Jewish religion who performs the Brit Milah (the "circumcision").  Ever since they decided that the glans (head of the penis) needs to be laid bare (you can look up "lay bare the glans"), they had to keep a sharp thumbnail in order to break the connection between the glans and the inner part of the prepuce (aka "foreskin").  As a teenager, I noticed a thumbnail that was shaped like the end of an arrow (speaking of archery here).  I never knew why this person kept his thumbnail that way until I learned more about this topic.

Appendicitis/appendectomy

You're probably thinking "what does this have to do with genital autonomy?"  It is often brought up that parents have to make choices for their children, so the claim that the child cannot consent does not apply. But, IT DOES!  "Circumcision" is a ritual, not a medical practice even though they use the term.  A prepuce amputation, posthectomy, or preputioplasty are surgical terms instead of a euphemism for a ritual.  "Circumcision" is not a choice that a parent "has" to make unless they are so religious that they believe that they have to.

Another thing that is brought up is that it's better to do it early so they don't have to deal with the pain of doing it later.  The chances that a person will need an appendectomy are much higher than ever needing a prepuce amputation.  The pain from the appendicitis was excruciating for me and the recovery took several weeks.  Today we have better methods through laparoscopy, so recovery today would probably be much shorter.  However, the point is that this logic about the possibility that they will need it later in life can be applied to many things like the appendix.  You may be thinking "that's far more invasive than a prepuce amputation."  Maybe, but the appendix has far less value than the prepuce.  And, I bet they could perform a laparoscopic procedure on an infant that would have far fewer adverse effects than prepuce amputation.  It comes down to the views of the value of the prepuce.  Most men in the world would never consider removing it; thus, it clearly has value.  Those living in cultures where genital cutting is common, most males obviously hold it as something with little or no value.

Married someone that became a trauma therapist

I supported my first wife while she obtained her master's degree in behavioral science.  I was dragged through her learning process, thus, learning many things about human behavior myself.  As I have gone through my own cognitive dissonance, trauma, and grief from learning about my loss, I have been able to self-monitor and look at myself through the lens of someone that has received such education about human behavior.  I believe this has helped me stay sane and objective.

Married someone else who attended a Christian school

As I noted earlier, Jennifer attended a Christian school. She has also developed into a career that involves mental health and is working at a non-denominational church.

While I can get into the weeds with someone that considers themselves religious, I find myself very dismissive of the religious beliefs that drive people to harm others.

Became a father of sons

Being a father of two boys, who I changed diapers on and have had several candid discussions about this topic, I consider this my greatest value as an advocate.  I often jump into conversations between people where there is no one like me and let them know that I am a cut dad of two intact sons and those who think they know something suddenly stop interacting or quickly change their tune.  They have to be careful what they say around me because they will find themselves insulting me or insulting my sons if they are not.  Thus, I think it pushes people to stay more objective about the topic.

Dealt with cognitive dissonance and Stockholm Syndrome too

I watch so many people come up with the same arguments I did.  The main difference is that I'm an introvert and did not voice the arguments out loud; I simply asked people questions and did research to verify whether my arguments were good ones or based on lies.  And, it's not just one layer of cognitive dissonance that has to be dealt with, particularly when one holds strong religious beliefs.  It's particularly difficult to consider that the arguments are based on lies because it means that one has to acknowledge that those who you love and were supposed to love you are the ones that had it done to you (thus, Stockholm Syndrome).  Not everyone has the same number of layers of cognitive dissonance, thus, some move through it faster than others.  Those who went through the cognitive dissonance themselves seem more patient with those who are going through it now.

Vasectomy

Yes, I got the vasectomy after our youngest son was born.  *I* CHOSE IT!  The person that performed it made absolutely sure that I was not being coerced.  I just wish medical professionals were as careful when asking mothers of newborns (or not ask at all!)!

Vasectomy is brought up sometimes as a comparison.  I still have not seen a good reason for it to be brought up.  However, since I did get one, it puts me into a great position to address it along with all of these other things.

Technologist

My work as an IT guy has affected my ability to network and disburse information.  I could create a huge list here of all the things I have done on the internet, but I don't see the point.  Anyone that follows me closely knows.

Work in big pharma

Many consider intactivists anti-science and compare us to anti-vaxxers.  I worked in a pharmaceutical company for over 5 years.  For much of that time, I drove and rode a vanpool van with many PhD scientists.  Conversations often occurred discussing what made for "good science."

I don't want to get in trouble for talking bad about the company I used to work for, but, capitalism clearly drives people to do selfish things.  People sometimes bring up that the USA does more study and research to develop medical treatments.  When you consider that most other countries operate social healthcare programs, that makes complete sense.  When there is potential for great gains, investors WILL invest.  Bill Gates has made huge investments into biotech and is the largest contributor to the WHO second only to the USA government.  It's hard to trust anything when there are conflicts of interest like that.  I think that the COVID pandemic has highlighted how little trust people have for these entities and the governments due to financial interests.  And I have NO doubt that financial interests (as well as others) have negatively affected the information that is provided to the general public about "circumcision."

Summary

I have been wondering why I have become such an influence in the movement for genital autonomy.  Now that I have written it out, I see that there are many reasons.  It's as if I have been preparing for this my entire life (or divine intervention has been preparing me).